


Spiderman

by PattRose



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Humor, M/M, silliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-06
Updated: 2011-03-06
Packaged: 2017-10-16 03:28:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/167930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PattRose/pseuds/PattRose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack is in charge of a hostile situation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Spiderman

Spiderman  
Patt  
Author Email: PattRose1@aol.com

Pairings: T/J

Author's Notes: Thank you, Lisa, for letting other fandoms into our sandbox. Or would that be playpen?

Story Notes: There might be some angst. There is a death of something, just not human.

Summary: The title says it all.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

  
[   
](http://s71.photobucket.com/albums/i121/PattRose1/?action=view&current=spiderman.jpg)   


 

Spiderman  
by Patt

 

"Holy Crap!!!!" Jack O'Neill yelled from the kitchen, bringing Teal'c running to see what was wrong and then he smiled.

"T, do you see the size of that spider? It could have bitten me and killed me."

"O'Neill, it is not a poisonous spider. You are over-reacting."

"Me? Over react. No, that would be Daniel or Carter. Not me. This is one big honking bug, T."

"It is a large spider, perhaps you might think about capturing it before it gets out of the kitchen."

"Oh yeah, good idea. I'll capture the poisonous sucker. You want me to get bit, don't you? Then when I die, you get the house and everything in the bank. I can't believe you would want me to die."

"You are over-reacting again. What do you wish me to do?"

"There's a newspaper right there. Roll it up and smack it really hard." Jack was using the hand gestures that normally Teal'c found amusing or sometimes even sexy. But today, it irritated him.

"And for some reason, you believe me to be the superior spider slayer?"

"Well, not superior, just mighty darn good. How is that, T?"

"Here is the paper, O'Neill. Destroy it yourself." He then walked out of the kitchen. He heard banging, smashing and cracking noises and hoped that their kitchen would survive. Teal'c smiled at the sound. He had only moved in a month ago, and this was still all new to him. He liked it a great deal. Their home, their kitchen, sounded perfect.

Suddenly there was a Zhat gun blast and Teal'c ran into the kitchen. "O'Neill, those are not permitted off of the base. What are you doing?"

"Look!" a beaming Jack stood pointing to half of a very dead bug. "I told you I could do it."

"I am most disappointed in you, O'Neill." Shaking his head he walked out of the room.

"What? You're pissed because I brought home a Zhat gun?"

"You are wrong. You did something I never thought you would do."

 _Oh no. What did I do now? I'm messing this up already. For crying out loud, it's only been a month._ Teal'c was upset with him. This wouldn't do. "Explain and I can fix it."

"It's too late now."

"T, it's never too late for us. Come on, tell me what I can do to make it better."

"O'Neill, there is nothing you can do. You assassinated an unarmed being. For this I cannot forgive. I never would have believed you would shoot it, knowing it had no weapon."

Jack looked over at him and saw the smile and said, "You're going to have to make this up to me, big boy. An unarmed being my ass. Speaking of my ass, can I talk you into some makeup sex?"

"You need to make amends to **me** , O'Neill. I will wait in our room." Teal'c smiled as he walked.

"I love the sound of that. Our room. It's 'like' so cool, isn't it, T?"

"Come on, and I shall show you how cool it is."

"All right. Now we're talking. Do I get to be your bottom boy slut?"

"O'Neill, you are at all times my bottom boy slut."

"You know, I need to talk to you about that. I'd like you to be the bottom boy slut now and then. What do you think?" Jack gave him a huge smile.

"Kiss me." The big lug ordered.

Jack complied and then complied again. As they got more into it, Teal'c handed the lube to Jack.

"Oh crap. I don't believe it. I'm really nervous. But don't worry. I'm going to make you feel so good, you'll never want to do anything else."

"Yah, shure, ya betcha." Teal'c waited and watched the smile come to his lover's face.

"That was so cute. I love you T."

"And I love you. Now could we start? I find myself ready."

"For crying out loud, you are a bottom boy slut. All this time I could've been fucking you."

"O'Neill. You do not fuck me and I do not fuck you. We make love."

"You are 'so' going to get lucky for the rest of your life. I adore you and I'll show you how much, now."

Daniel and Carter were about to knock at the door, when they heard Teal'c howling Jack's name.

Carter smiled and said, "Well, I guess Jack got his wish."

"He told you he wanted to do Teal'c?"

"No, you could just tell. They're so darn cute together. And Jack lets himself be a little looser now. I'm happy for both of them."

"We'll call first the next time," Daniel said, as he laughed all the way to his car.

"Remind me to tease them tomorrow." Sam wouldn't want to forget.

In their bedroom, Teal'c was holding Jack snug into his body. "That was more than I ever expected from anal sex. Thank you."

"You're welcome. Now a normal person might be upset at that remark, but I understood what you meant, I think. Did you mean it felt a lot better than you thought it would feel?"

"Exactly, O'Neill. That is it."

"Thank you for letting me be your first."

"My only." Teal'c kissed Jack until they were both breathless.

"I'm tired. Can we take a nap?" Jack whined endearingly.

"Yes, but please set the alarm for one hour. Then, you will be mine." Teal’c ordered.

"Well, for crying out loud..." How about now?"

"I thought we were taking a power nap."

Jack threw himself on top of Teal'c, rubbing, kissing and hugging. Jack loved the noises that his large Jaffa made when he became close.

"O'Neill, I would like to come inside of you."

"Who's stopping ya?"

*****

The sounds heard from the room for the last month were wonderful. If anyone were to hear them, they would be pleased that lonely Jack O'Neill and lonely Jaffa Teal'c were so happy. They were truly in love.

*****

Jack was just about asleep when Teal'c said, "What if that poor Spider had a family? What are they going to do?"

"Shut up about the spider."

"Do not shoot anymore spiders."

"Fine... Go to sleep."

"I love you, Jack."

"You never call me Jack."

"I just did. Were you not listening?"

"I mean, you don't usually."

"I thought perhaps in the bedroom, Jack would sound nice. Did you like it? Or I could call you Spiderman"

"To tell you the truth, you could call me General Hammond for all I care. But don't call me Spiderman. I hate spiders."

"Why would I call you that?" Teal'c asked.

"Call me what?" Jack wondered aloud.

"General Hammond. And I do not care about Spiders," Teal'c said, sounding irritated.

"I'm kidding. Go to sleep, T. You're grouchy. I love you."

"I love you, Jack. And I love when you call me T."

"We have to get up early, stop petting me." Jack whined.

"Go to sleep."

"I'm sleeping now. I don't even feel you fisting my cock. Damn it. Do I ever get to sleep anymore?"

"No."

*****

There was laughter and love sounds coming from that room, once again. These two men were so different, yet, the same. Love is strange and it's beautiful.

And to think this evening all started because of a spider.

*****

End: Spiderman.


End file.
